Category: Newborns
in Newborns

How to Support Your Husband as a New Dad


Okay mamas! You have done the hardest job of all. You delivered a precious baby after carrying for 10 whole months. You’ve endured morning sickness, night sweats, and heartburn. You haven’t had a good night’s sleep, a shower, or a good meal in DAYS! You have put all of your energy into taking care of this brand new baby.

It can be easy to feel like you have nothing left to give to anyone else. Let’s face it, you probably don’t, and that’s okay. So, how can you support your husband as a new dad when you feel like you are hardly getting by?

You might be surprised by some of the answers I got from some new dads. In fact, the number one response I got is something that might even help YOU out. So here we go, ten ways to support your husband as a new dad.

  1. Give him opportunities to bond. The overwhelming majority of dads said they would like more opportunities to bond with the baby. Many times, especially if mom is breastfeeding, the mom takes on all things baby, while she has dad fetch, change, cook, make, clean, etc… Talk with your husband about things he could do to bond with the baby. Maybe he gives baths, rocks the baby to sleep after a feeding, or does tummy time activities. The point is, don’t automatically assume all responsibility for the baby just because you are the main source of food! Find something your husband can do with the baby, and let him do it!
  2. Provide direction. Your husband may not have those innate motherly instincts that you do (surprise, surprise)! While some things seem like common sense to you, they may have to be learned by your husband. Give him some grace if these things don’t come naturally to him. Give him gentle suggestions like, “Maybe WE should try…” or “I wonder if…would help?”
  3. Tell him what you need. This may seem strange on a post about supporting your husbands needs. However, believe it or not, your husband wants the best for you and the baby. He wants to help you in any way he can. Sometimes he just needs you to tell him what you need! Again, they are learning and they can’t read your mind. If there is something you really want your husband to start doing, don’t stew about it, just tell him! Chances are he will be happy to help.
  4. Be patient. Remember, your husband is learning just like you are. Be patient and sit back and enjoy. Enjoy watching your husband become a daddy. Don’t expect him to figure it out overnight.
  5. Give encouragement.ย When my husband became a new dad, the hardest thing for him was feeling like he couldn’t soothe the baby when she was upset. He would become frustrated when he would try to soothe the baby and it wouldn’t work. Then he would hand her to me and she would stop. He felt like there was no point in even trying. This is where you come in. This is the time for you to point out what a good job he is doing with the baby. Thank him for all that he does for you and the baby and encourage him to keep trying.
  6. Listen to his suggestions. While you may feel you are having to give your husband A LOT of direction in some areas, give him some credit. Sometimes they have good ideas. ๐Ÿ˜‰ One night, I was at my wits-end when my colicky 3 month old. She would scream through the entire night. I wasn’t getting sleep and had no idea how to comfort her when she was like this. I woke my husband up, desperate for some relief from the crying-baby duty. My husband suggested trying a pacifier. Of course I said no, because that can lead to orthodontic problems and cause nipple confusion and…Well, my daughter finally stopped crying and when I looked up, there she was sucking away on her pacifier. After that night, we knew where her pacifier was at all times and she slept like a little champ. I thank God my husband didn’t listen to me! ๐Ÿ™‚
  7. Work as a team. Remember you two are in this together through thick and thin. As time goes by you will fall into a routine of doing things, each of you better at some things than others. Allow him to help you in any way possible and do the same for him.
  8. Trust him. Show your husband you trust him to take care of the baby. Allow him chances to take care of the baby without chiming in your two-cents every five minutes. If you know the baby needs to be fed, changed, or go to sleep try to keep quiet and let him figure it out. I promise, he will!
  9. Ask him how you can help him. Talk with your husband. Ask him how HE is doing. This whole thing has been about you and the baby, and so many times, dads get left out. If your husband has gone back to work, ask him how it is going.
  10. Let him know you appreciate him. Tell your husband constantly how much you appreciate him! Not only will he feel like you notice his efforts, but most likely it will encourage him to keep it up!

These are all tips given to me by new dads. (A special thanks to all of the dads that provided input!) My hope is that they will help parents through this time of transition to a family of 3. Happy Parenting! ๐Ÿ™‚

Have any more tips to add to the list! Let us know in the comments below!

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in Newborns

How to Support Your Wife as a New Mom


Motherhood. It seemed so easy, until I became a mom. I walked into the hospital with grand ideas about what motherhood would be like, but when I came out (with my new baby), it was like everything had shifted. I was no longer the same person. It was like I had to learn how to be me again, but in a different way. At first, it was all just surreal. It took some time to realize that this tiny human was mine and she depended on me for everything. She depended on me to figure out breastfeeding, diaper changing, sleep schedules, bathing, clipping fingernails, and SO much more.

In one day I went from doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted to not having energy to eat!

Now, I’m not saying I didn’t love being a mom. I am saying that I was overwhelmed and unexpectedly so. Thankfully, I had my (amazing) husband to help me through this time. He must have had someone coaching him along the way because he always seemed to know what to say to calm my fears and anxiety. However, this is not always the case. So many women deal with postpartum depression and anxiety and their husband or significant other have no idea how to deal with it. Even moms who are not carrying the burden of PPD can feel unsupported by their husband simply because he doesn’t know what to do to help.

Here are some ways for a husband to support his wife as a new mom:

  1. Check on her. Ask her if there is anything she needs- and not just once, ask her all. of. the. time. When she is nursing, resting, changing the baby, or even entertaining visitors. After giving birth, hormones are all over the place. She may be fine one minute and dying of thirst the next. Fill her water glass, make her food, make her take a nap. In thinking of the baby, she may need reminders to take care of herself too.

  2. Get up at night. You might be like me and think it is silly for both of you to lose sleep when only one of you can care for the baby. However, being up with an inconsolable baby in the middle of the night can be lonely, exhausting, and frustrating. Even if you don’t know how to help, at least wake up and ask her how you can help. Many people also recommend having dad change the diaper and bring the baby to mom for feeding. This gives mom a few minutes extra sleep and shows that you are doing what you can to help.

  3. Don’t complain. If your wife gets up most times in the night with the baby, don’t complain when it is your turn or when she asks you to help out. She needs her sleep just as much as you do, even if you are going back to work and she’s not.

  4. Rub her back. Giving birth and learning how to nurse a newborn is physically draining. Give your wife a massage. Don’t wait for her to ask for one. In fact, any chance you get, rub her feet, her back or her head. She deserves it!

  5. Listen. Your wife may be trying to tell you how she is feeling. Take time to really listen and understand. There is a good chance her hormones are getting the best of her and even she doesn’t understand it. Listen, and then confirm what a good job she is doing.

  6. Prepare meals and snacks. Even if you aren’t used to cooking, make an attempt to prepare meals for your wife and family. If you are back at work you may have to make frozen meals or even get take out. Somehow, be sure your wife is eating good meals throughout the day. She will need the nourishment but most likely won’t think about it on her own.

  7. Change diapers. Any time you are around and the baby needs changing, offer to change it. Most likely, she has changed 20 other diapers already that day.

  8. Offer to take the baby. Offer to take the baby while she takes a shower or a nap. Heck, tell her to go out to lunch with friends and get out of the house. She will need this in order to feel like herself again, but may not ask for it.

  9. Pick up groceries. Ask your wife for a list of groceries and run to the store after work. The last thing she will want to do is get out and buy groceries.

  10. Let her sleep in. If your wife was up with the baby in the night, offer to get up with the baby in the morning and let her sleep in. Bring the baby to her (if nursing) and then let her go back to bed. This will help her to feel like she has gotten a full night’s sleep.

Your wife might be killing it as a new mom, but it can’t hurt to do these things. It can be hard for new moms to ask for help, even when they really need it. Be ahead of the game and try doing these things without her asking. Just because she doesn’t ask for it, doesn’t mean she doesn’t need it. Do these things multiple times a day if you are home, again without her asking, and don’t expect anything in return. She is doing a lot already!

Not only are you helping your wife by doing these things, but you will be creating a strong bond with the baby, which is equally as important.

Now, don’t worry, I am already starting a post about how moms can support their husbands as a new dad. ๐Ÿ™‚

What did your husband do to support you as a new mom? Post it in the comments below!

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in Newborns

Thank Yous- 5 Tips on Getting Thank You Notes Done in a Timely Manner


Are you horrible at writing thank you cards when you receive a gift? Do you agonize over the act of writing thank you cards until you finally decide it is too late to send them? As a new mom, you are sure to receive many gifts, meals, or acts of service. In my opinion, thank you cards are a must. They are a classy way to show you appreciate what someone has done for you or given to you.

Now, let me be the first to admit that I can be HORRIBLE at writing thank you cards. I am either on it and have them all written, addressed, and mailed the next day. OR, I put it off for weeks until I finally decide the person would not even remember what I was thanking them for and drop it all together. There have even been times where I write the cards and don’t get postage and the cards never get sent. The thought of cards that have never been sent leaves me feeling so much guilt!

Add a newborn to the mix and thank you cards can be a very daunting task. Not only do you have to write the cards but you have to look up addresses, buy and apply postage, AND take them to the mailbox. Any one of these steps can be a hang up in getting thank yous accomplished. Especially when you are caring for a newborn.

Don’t be that person that NEVER writes thank you cards. There are times where you might forget or life really is overwhelming and stopping you from writing thank yous.ย We all get that, but TRY to write thank yous in situations where someone has gone out of their way to do something nice for you. It is just a common courtesy.

Now here’s the part that is just as much for me as it is for anyone else. 5 tips on getting thank you notes done in a timely manner.

  1. Have a bulk stash of thank you cards and stamps on hand at all times. Like I said before, not having supplies on hand is often the reason thank yous are never sent. Stock up on different types of thank you cards and stamps and keep them in a location that you can easily pull one out write it and send it straight away. I also like to keep a stash at work.
  2. Have a place to keep addresses. If you don’t have an address book either on your computer or in a notebook, take the time to make one, ASAP. Having to ask people for their address multiple times is a.) annoying, and b.) inconvenient. Each time someone sends you something, write their address in your book so you have it for later. It makes all the difference knowing everyone’s address is in one place and you don’t have to go searching for it.
  3. Set aside time. If you have a lot of thank you cards to write it may help to set aside a chunk of time to write all of them at once. Another way to do it would be to write a few each day. Either way, when writing thank you cards try to write, address and send the cards at the same time. This will ensure that you follow through and accomplish the most important step of actually sending the cards! My favorite thing is to make a nice cup of coffee and sit down at the table to hash them all out at once.
  4. Divide and conquer. If you have a significant other in the picture, have him help. Sometimes my husband and I each write cards to our side of the family. Other times, one will write the cards while the other addresses them.
  5. Don’t pressure yourself to get them done right away. In the grand scheme of things, a late thank you is better than no thank you at all. Most likely , the person that gave you a giftย  did it out of the goodness of their heart. They did it to help you and not to burden you. So, if your thank you notes don’t get done right away, don’t stress. Just get them done when you can.

Having a newborn can be stressful. Worrying about writing thank you notes can add to that stress. My advice is to get them done ASAP in order to relive some of that stress. *One more little tip for family and friends: Insist on the new mama not writing a thank you note for the gift you have given her. That will be a gift in itself. It is a little less pressure to know that you have excused her from writing one thank you note. ๐Ÿ™‚

Here are some of my favorite thank you cards to stock up on! ๐Ÿ™‚

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